literature

Is it bad.....?

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SylverFire-Lilithe's avatar
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Literature Text

To push people away.....? If you love someone more than yourself.... But you know that you're capable of hurting someone..... Whether emotionally, physically or mentally..... Or in any way shape or form....

If you know that you're capable of bad things..... If you push that one special person, that one person who matters most to you away so that they're safe.....from you..... Is that bad....??


Even though they keep coming back knowing that you are capable of something bad.....



Though you haven't hurt anyone yet, but you've said mean things..... To others.....


You're so afraid that you'll hurt that one person...... That you push them away.... To spare them.....


Is that bad....?




I'm sorry I don't know what's wrong with me..... Forgive me..... Don't hate me.... I don't mean to be this way..... I can't help it.... It's just me, it's a part of me........ I can't be anyone but me......

Please don't hate me..... Please understand me...... Please I don't want you to really leave....... I need you..... So bad it hurts...... I can't take it..... Without you..... I don't even want to be here......


I don't care what others think only you matter!! I don't care if people think it's emotionally abusive....!! I don't care if people think you're abusive(but I would like to tell them to fuck off or worse!!)


I don't care!! You're the one I love!!! YOU!! No one else!! You have my heart!!! Anyone could easily take my body by force or not...!! But you you have my heart!! You have my soul!!! You are my world!! My everything!!!


I know you tell me time and time again that you would never leave me even if I asked... I'm "stuck with you"..... But are you safe with me? I think these things all the time....!! (Call me emo, call me am attention whore I DON'T CARE PEOPLE!! Just quit judging me for being myself!!!  For being honest!! This is me in the raw!! If you don't like it fuck yourself with a rusty pipe!!!)


Are you safe?? But you never leave.... I want to open myself more to you, but the more I try the more walls I put up..... I'm so afraid of your rejection... Yet you still haven't....?

What is wrong with me.....? You love me for me..... Why can't I love me for me.... Why can't I just accept that you do love me......??!! Why can't I just realize it and stop being an idiot!! And stop being so damn afraid!!???


I hate that I feel this way..... What's wrong with me.....


Even now you're comforting as I write this....... Never leaving.....


You accept me as I am....



And all I do is wonder "why?" "Will he ever leave?" "Will anyone come between us?" "What if he dies?" What if I die?"

Yet you always stay true to your words. You haven't hurt me yet....

I know you never would even if I am a masochist.....


Why..... Can't I just let you love me....? Why can't everyone just accept our love.....



I just want you, in the end. If I have 500 friends, or even 100 lovers.....


You are the only one I would literally so anything for...... I don't know why except its because I love.....you....!!



I can't live without you.....


I would surely die..... Without you.........





Thank you so much mine beloved for always being there for me.....



I love you..... And only you.....
Emotional vent / dedication to the man I love the most.

A vent because it sounds like I am, and I am about myself.



And crying like well a damn broken sink.......




This is how I tend to feel sometimes.......... I have issues with myself......... Don't ask why..... It's super complicated.........



Anyways...... I love you and only you :iconsilver-and-rubies:/iconsweeneyscomingforyou:!!!!! YOU ARE MY WORLD, MY UNIVERSE, MY EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!
© 2014 - 2024 SylverFire-Lilithe
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SweeneysComingForYou's avatar
I love your way with words, the snarky comments and such.... I love your poetry.... I love you!!

:)